With the advent of online dating sites there are more ways than ever to meet 'the one'. It's a much better method than cruising the kafetaria scene looking for someone special. For most couples the first few months is pretty easy. You are falling in love and you think the other person is perfect. You can see no wrong in them or what they do. And maybe there isn't anything wrong with the way they, or you, act in the early stages of a relationship.
They say that familiarity breeds contempt and if that's true it would go a long way to explaining why the longer a relationship goes on the more it tends to break down.
Here is a list of some of the things you, and your partner, need to be on the lookout for in your relationship. These are common traps that many couples fall into without realizing it. If you know what to watch out for and can avoid these mistakes you will have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and healthy for a long time:
1. Unrealistic expectations.
As I said above we think our new love can do no wrong. As our relationship slowly changes from falling in love to being in love and all the day to day stresses and mundane tasks we must face, it's easy to lose some of that early 'glow'. This can be a pivotal time in many relationships, sometimes the couple will think that they just don't love each other anymore and break up.
In reality, in any long term relationship, you will spend a much longer time in this 'normal' mode than you will in the early 'glow' mode. It's important to recognize that this is all a normal progression in an adult relationship.
2. Inability to effectively communicate.
Men and women express themselves differently...that's just the way it is. The good news is that you can learn to communicate with your partner effectively, if you're willing to take some time to learn how. The whole 'it's a guy thing' or 'it's a girl thing' is only true to a point, and is largely just a cop out. In reality any mature, intelligent adult should be able to learn how to talk to their partner, and even more importantly, listen to their partner. The real question is do you care enough about your partner and the relationship to take the time?
3.Don't confuse sex with love.
This may sound obvious but men and women tend to look at sex in different ways. Women, for example, tend to look at sex as a way to connect with someone they love on a deeper physical level. Yes, it's pleasurable, but the pleasure isn't just physical it's emotional as well.
Men tend to look at sex as definition of who they are as a man. For them too, it's pleasurable but it's also a way to prove their desirability and masculinity. Sometimes when a relationship gets to the 'comfortable' stage this difference in views about sex can create problems. If one partner doesn't seem sexually interested in the other partner it can create severe stress on the relationship.
If your relationship gets to this point, it might help if you and your partner can remember that sex is only one small component of every thing your relationship is made up of. While for many couples, having an active sex life is an important part of the relationship, it's important to understand that as you age and your relationship grows, it probably won't be quite as important as it once was. That doesn't mean your partner doesn't love you or find you attractive, it's just a fairly common way for long term relationships to go.
One of life's blessings is being able to make a deep, long lasting, connection with another person I hope this love relationship advice will help you hold on to the love you've found. Make your connection last by learning how to avoid the pitfalls of some relationships.
