How To Appointment Older Women

When talking virtually dating an older woman, it actually does brand sense that many younger men larn turned on yesteryear thinking virtually it. Many older women are good-looking, they commonly bring money, they do non similar to play around, too they are inward a content spot inward their life. If you lot desire to know on how to appointment older women, too thence you lot are on the correct place.

You postulate to know the fact that older women bring a dissimilar viewpoint regarding affection too intimacy. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 lot of them never idea to larn into a human relationship amongst a human being who is younger than them. The older adult woman volition ever live unconfident virtually her appearance, regardless of how youthful too attractive she may await like. It is because she realizes that in that location are a lot of younger too to a greater extent than attractive women out there.

Children is about other argue why the older women are non actually excited virtually dating amongst younger men. Just inward instance they already have.

Before you lot determine to saltation correct in, you lot bring to know several points on how to appointment older women. Older women are all virtually talking too they are commonly intellectuals. When you lot are able to concord a conversation well, you lot are inward there, too you lot volition obtain positive values inward her mind. Therefore, the outset affair you lot should know on how to appointment older women is how to continue a conversation going amongst them.

Ensure that you lot larn in-depth virtually anything you lot are talking virtually whatsoever fourth dimension you lot beak virtually certainly topics. It is a skillful thing, particularly if you lot are able to appear every bit a knowledgeable someone virtually certainly subjects. So ever recall that asset a conversation is really of import for women.
The adjacent affair you lot postulate to know on how to appointment older women is finding out what her likes too interests. Try to await for the data virtually her hobbies too come across if you lot bring the same interests amongst her. For example, if you lot similar doing sport exercise, too she likewise happens to the same, too thence yesteryear all way effort to invite her out for running, cycling, or going to a gym. From here, it volition live possible for you lot to come across her inward all of her natural beauty. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 adult woman ever freely doing anything that she loves. This is a slap-up strategy for you lot to live able to larn to know ane about other every bit good every bit brand a bond amongst her.

Never brand a hope that you lot cannot continue is the adjacent affair that you lot bring to do. Try to ever continue your promises. How you lot tin bargain amongst a existent human relationship amongst the adult woman if you lot cannot continue your promises? The older women actually loathe the status where the men, particularly younger men, interruption their promises. It is exactly because she feels similar you lot are non mature plenty to handgrip her. For about men, they do non realize it. However, it actually makes sense.

Do non forget to role humour every bit well. Since the older women a flake similar to laugh, too thence humour tin larn along the way. This would live easier for you lot if the adult woman that you lot are dating is a someone who already lots of laughs. Moreover, do non await similar stodgy person, too perchance sarcastic a flake likewise could assistance you. So start to think virtually about jokes straight off because humour is essential.

Finally, if your human relationship amongst the adult woman has developed, too thence the adjacent logical footstep should live introducing her to your parents.

If you lot desire to appointment older women successfully, ever continue inward heed the tips on how to appointment older women above. Enjoy your dating too having a long-lasting relationship.

First Appointment Advice For Men

The get-go appointment you lot wanted is finally you lot got. And what to produce next? Now the existent challenge is going to last started. It is fourth dimension to excogitation the date, determine what clothe you lot involve to wear, what you lot possess got to produce when the appointment comes to an end, in addition to how to win her heart. Is this likewise much clitoris per unit of measurement area for you? Do non afraid, hither are the first appointment advice for men that you lot involve inwards lodge to brand your get-go appointment to a greater extent than successful. You exactly pay attending to all the tips in addition to advice below, in addition to you lot volition last able to larn the endangerment to the 2d date.

Location

The first appointment advice for men start from the place of the date. Your master copy alternative is dinner at a practiced restaurant. In lodge to brand it easier for you lot to lead a identify that she likes, possibly it is amend that you lot inquire her get-go what eatery she prefers in addition to what type of nutrient she enjoys. It volition present how attentive you lot are, in addition to this is the initial pace inwards winning points.

Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 concert or the moving painting could last non the best options for you lot when the role of the date is getting to know to a greater extent than nigh her. One is likewise loud, meanwhile the other you lot possess got to last tranquillity in.

Clothing

The 2d first appointment advice for men is nigh clothing. If you lot actually desire to aspect impressive on your get-go date, using a splash of cologne is a must, in addition to last sure you lot are clean-shaven. Do non forget to launder your pilus in addition to brush your teeth. Additionally, instead of a T-shirt, maybe it is a practiced sentiment to have on a polo. This outfit looks cracking fifty-fifty if it is combined amongst a jeans. You may holler upwards that you lot desire to last yourself. It is okay, however, it would non wound if you lot pose on clothe that volition for sure accentuate your best character.

Just inwards Time

Women pass a lot to a greater extent than fourth dimension for training than men do, therefore, punctuality is rattling of import for them. Do non always last belatedly for 5 minutes or more, because it volition brand her holler upwards that the appointment is non actually of import for you.

You tin larn inwards 5 minutes before if you lot want, but produce non to a greater extent than than 5 minutes. It volition present that you lot are likewise eager for the date, in addition to she volition laissez passer on a crimson flag to you. Moreover, it tin suspension your chance to the side past times side date.

Be a Confident

Make a smiling of confidence when you lot possess got arrived at the forepart of her door. It tin melt her heart. No affair how nervous you lot are, or if your toes are trembling in addition to your knees are knocking. You involve to produce it, fifty-fifty if you lot possess got to pretend to deed it equally if it is real. Women dearest a confident man.

Be a Gentleman

There are several ways on how to honour her, such equally opened upwards the car door for her, line out her chair when she is going to sit down inwards the restaurant, in addition to so on. Not solely notice them, but she volition also appreciate all these treatments.

In the Conversation

Through conversation, both of you lot possess got the endangerment to larn to know each other. Maybe this is the most of import advice of the entire first appointment advice for men, because this is a stage that determine your success inwards getting the side past times side date. Ask her whatever questions regarding herself. You involve to actually brain to what she is telling you, in addition to and then seek to inquire to a greater extent than questions depending on what she is saying. There are big points that could last won here.

Do non seek to brag nigh yourself inwards an endeavor to print her, because it volition brand her experience that you lot are pompous in addition to arrogant. This is something that you lot actually involve to avoid inwards the conversation amongst her, fifty-fifty though you lot powerfulness last tempted to produce it.

Do Not Expect Too Much

The side past times side get-go appointment advice for men is no expectations. The solely correct thing you lot possess got to produce is pay for the bill. However, past times doing this does non hateful that you lot possess got the correct to paw her all over, or aspect that she volition come upwards to your domicile in addition to cease on your bed. Okay, it does non affair to lay your manus on her dorsum when you lot Pb her out the door, but produce non produce to a greater extent than than this. Treat her amongst honour if you lot dearest this girl.

After Dinner

Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 wonderful appointment does non cease presently afterward the dinner. Before you lot determine to accept the daughter home, possibly past times taking her on a curt ride roughly the metropolis is a practiced idea. Or you lot tin exactly accept her to your nearby cake house or your favorite H2O ice cream shop where she tin indulge her sweetness tooth.

Say Goodnight

And the in conclusion get-go appointment advice for men, walk the daughter to her forepart door in addition to allow her know nigh what a beautiful fourth dimension you lot experienced tonight. Be honest in addition to tell her that you lot desire to inquire her out i time again someday. If she smiles at you lot in addition to says that she would similar that equally well, in addition to then your get-go appointment has been successful. Maybe this tin last the most awkward business office of the date, therefore, produce non brand it worse.

So in that place they are. The first appointment advice for men that you lot involve inwards lodge to brand your get-go appointment succeed, in addition to also assist larn your human foot inwards the forepart of her door for the 2d date. Use them wisely in addition to last a happy man.

Free Dating Advice For Men Invaluable Tips

Free Dating Advice For Men Invaluable Tips

If you're a guy looking for free dating advice for men, you're in luck. You can find all kinds of free tips about dating and relationships on the web. This particular article will revolve around the following statistics. Dr. Albert Mehrabian, an expert in nonverbal communication, discovered that nonverbal communication accounts for at least 93 percent of the impact of our communication. Words account for only 7 percent. The 93 percent is made up of pace, pitch and tone of voice (38 percent) and facial expressions (55 percent). It's been proven that body language is VERY important. Understanding that translates into the following tips.

Keep good eye contact with your date. You've probably already heard this one but it is sometimes easier said than done, especially if you are nervous. And remember, the worst sin you can commit on a date is to stare (or even be caught glancing) at your date's chest. Do everything in your power to NOT look at her chest. This will make sure you don't offend her and it may even cause her to wonder why you're not looking and actually lead her to start trying to provoke you to look! When talking to your date, try to maintain eye contact. Don't stare at her constantly but make a conscious effort to look into her eyes (about 70 percent of the time is a good rule of thumb). Try to be natural.

One of the more overlooked pieces of free dating advice for men. . .stand up straight! This communicates that you are strong, confident and healthy.

Remember to smile. A great big honest smile shows your date that you are friendly, fun and, most importantly, comfortable around women. Some people smile more naturally than others. If you don't consider yourself a "smiler", practice smiling a little bit. You'll probably be surprised at home many people smile back.

In certain situations, opening your palms and facing them upwards while you speak can gain your date's trust. This subconsciously tells your date that you are being honest. You can use this to defend yourself against an accusation or simply to make a point about yourself. Remember to smile along with this gesture too.

Avoid fidgeting, running your fingers through your hair, tracing invisible lines in the table or any sort of compulsive gesture that you may do to combat discomfort or nervousness. Try to keep your hands in your lap (if you are sitting) or straight down at your sides (if you are standing). This conveys a sense that you are at ease with yourself and others. And confidence is one major quality that women seek in men.

Don't be afraid of moments of silence in your conversation. Most people try to fill silence as soon as possible. Realize that it's ok. Take a moment to just enjoy the moment.

These are just a few pieces of free dating advice for men. Remember that nonverbal communication is just as, if not more, important than lisan communication. . .especially on a first date!

Four Cs Of Fantastic Relationships

What makes a great relationship? What are the ingredients for creating a happy, healthy, forever kind of partnership in life? I believe there are four necessities, things you must both provide in order to have a relationship that is as close to perfect as humans can make them.

I call those four necessities Pillars of Perfection, and these four pillars are the basic cornerstones underpinning every great, lasting relationship the world has ever known. What are they?

The First C is Caring: Both parties in a thriving relationship has to care about themselves, yes, but most especially about each other and about the relationship as a third, separate entity.

Why? Because a person will tend to only work on things they truly care about. So the first pillar in a great relationship is caring.

The Second C is Commitment: You must be willing to commit to forever. This means, good or bad, heaven or hell, war and/or peace, you're willing to stand up and fight for what you care about, which is each other.

You must be dedicated to your relationship, to creating a life and lifestyle that suits you both and then doing whatever it takes to maintain it for the rest of your lives together. So commitment is the second pillar in a great relationship.

The Third C is Communication: Communication is our way of getting our own thoughts, hopes, fears, and ideas across to someone else. If we do not communicate, our partners have no way of knowing what we expect, what we want, need, desire, or crave from our relationships.

You must be willing and able to talk, to communicate openly and honestly about your expectations in order to maintain a happy, healthy, long-term relationship.

The Fourth C is Compromise: From the mouth of John Michael Montgomery, from the text of the Bible, and from the lips of just about every person in the world, in some form or the other, come these fateful words: You do have to give if you want to receive.

There is a give and take in any relationship. Problems start when one person does more giving than taking (or more taking than giving). To avoid this, you must be willing to compromise in order to create a harmonic balance in your relationship. That is why the fourth pillar of perfection in great relationships is compromise.

Think your relationship is lacking one or two of these pillars of perfection? There is no time better than now to begin work on constructing those pillars you feel your relationship lacks. Why now? Because tomorrow may be too late, and you would hate to miss out on being able to look back on 50, 60, 70 years or more of contented togetherness, wouldn't you?

I wouldn't be willing to trade that for anything in the world.

So forget about the work involved, and just be happy you are able to put in the time and effort now to ensure your relationship is one that will last, one that can stand the tests of time and endure forever.

Five Things You Should Always Ask Before You Get Married

Entering into a marriage is a huge commitment. For many people, it is a lifelong commitment. Marriage is a sacred union between two people. They are professing their love for each other and formalizing things with a ceremony. They will share this time with friends and family and they will have everyone that means a lot to them present at the wedding.

Entering into this new part of your life is often a very huge step for people. There can be a lot of anxiety and uncertainty that goes along with the decision to get married. However, there are some things that can help make things go smoothly and help you to make a conscious decision about whether you are ready to marry your partner or not. By answering these five questions, you will get a clear idea of exactly what your relationship is built on and where it has the potential to go in the future.

1. Children - Yes or No?

The first thing to discuss is whether you and your partner have the same thoughts and feelings on children. Do you both want children? Are you both planning on becoming parents at some point in the future? If there is a difference of opinion here, then you need to seriously rethink your relationship. A difference of opinion on children can wreak havoc on a marriage later on. It is not fair to your spouse or to the children that you may have in the future; if they are not wanted.

2. Family Finances:

Your next issue is money and spending habits. Are you and your partner able to have practical conversations regarding your finances and how money is spent? If you have a hard time talking about this prior to getting married, you are going to have a much harder time talking about it after you are married and are sharing all of the financial responsibilities. This can doom a marriage to failure before it ever starts. Plus, the majority of all divorces are caused by financial issues.

3. Marriage Bed:

can you talk openly about sex with your partner? If you are not completely satisfied or see some things that need to be worked on, are you able to tell your partner this? Are you both open to listening and working out any issues that either of you have? If you are not able to have an open sex life with each other and talk about it, there is no way that you are ready to enter into a marriage together. Chances are that if you are already having issues related to your sex life, they are only going to get worse over time.

4. Mother and Father In Law:

You need to know how much the in-laws are going to be in your life. They may be the most wonderful people in the world. Perhaps they are very loving and caring. They may have deep feelings for both you and your partner. However, they cannot run your life. They are not in control of your marriage or your relationship. If there are no boundaries and in-laws are allowed to do as they please, you are both setting yourselves up for disaster.

5. Household Chores:

The last thing that needs to be discussed is chores. Ask your partner if they will clean the toilet. Now, this may sound crazy, but think about it. Do you want to be responsible for doing all of the housework? Do you think it is fair that you be solely responsible for cleaning up messes that both of you make? If your partners answer to this question is, No or isnt that your job? you need to take a long hard look at whether or not you are ready to enter into a marriage with this person or not.

Finding Your Senior Match - Steps To Successful Senior Dating

Let's face facts. Finding your senior match can often be more difficult than dating for the first time at high school. Sure at school you were nervous but everyone around you was in the same boat. You were all teenagers and it was exciting and unknown territory.

But when you are trying to find love in later years, it is completely different. Not least because the majority of your peers are either still involved in happy couple land or else they are happily single. There are many different reasons why people look for love in their twilight years. They may have been recently bereaved or divorced or perhaps now for the first time, they have time to spend on dating and romance. Whatever the reason, it may be slightly more difficult but the good news is that it is possible to find romance if you know where to look.

The world of dating has changed in more ways than one. Whereas in the old days, you relied on friends, neighbors and your local dance hall to find dates, now you are limited only by how far you are prepared to look. The internet has broken down global barriers with some people finding new love in foreign lands. It is very socially acceptable to post a personal advert in your local newspaper or you could try joining a dating service.

Check out your local town to find out if they run singles clubs or speed dating nights. You will obviously want to check the age group that these activities are aimed at. You may feel young at heart, but a night with a bunch of teenagers or early twenty year olds is enough to put years on anyone!

If you are shy and retiring, you may prefer to join a singles dinner club. These places arrange nights out at local restaurants and organize groups of people to attend. It is all very casual and there is no pressure on anyone to pair off. It can be a very good way to broaden your social circle.

Don't forget to ask your friends to see if they know anyone who is in a similar situation. You may not be attracted to each other, but you could end up going to these single events together for some budpekerti support.

Also join a few clubs and associations in your area. People meet new partners every day through shared interests so you never know what may happen.

Be open minded and look at every new situation in a positive light. Be safe though. If you are going out to meet someone new, always use a public venue and let your friends know where you are going, if possible who you are meeting and when you will be home. It pays to be safe.

Who knows when Cupids arrow may strike but one thing is certain, if you don't put yourself out onto the social scene, nobody not even Cupid will know you are available.

Good luck finding your senior match.

Finally Dating Advice For Men Over 40

Finally Dating Advice For Men Over 40

Many men perceive being over 40 as a disadvantage when it comes to dating. But those of you who do will be happy to learn that most women actually like the idea of dating older men. You also many think that all the "worth-it" women are already spoken for, but this is also not the case. If you're over 40 and seeking attractive women to date, you'll like the following dating advice for men over 40.

First of all, instead of going out and trying to meet women by joining clubs or doing activities that attract women, start doing things that you genuinely like to do. While you may meet a lot of women at "women-based" places, unless you are really interested in these groups or activities, you will probably not get too far with the ones that you do meet. While you may have not had time to join certain clubs before, you do have the time now so take advantage of it.

Dress your age and wear clothes that flatter you both in fit and color. One of the many advantages of being an older guy is that you have the money to spend on clothes. You don't have to dress up in a suit and tie all the time (especially if that's required of you for work) but there are ways to look nice and show your style even if you're dressed casually. Women pay attention to sytle and this is one way to attract their attention.

Take a break. This is often overlooked in other dating advice for men over 40. But traveling is a fantastic way to meet new interesting people, especially when you're single. Go on an organized adventure like a cruise or jungle safari, something that fits your interests. You can even pick tours that suit your age brackets and tastes specifically. You might not necessarily find the next woman of your life on this trip but you will definitely have fun and come back refreshed and recharged.

Start going to the parties and events that you turned down in the past. It's time to start meeting new people. While old friends and family are always supportive and make you feel comfortable, you should make a conscious effort to develop new friendships (with men and women alike) as well. . .which can lead to new romances in a more indirect way.

Become a volunteer. Wherever you happen to live, there are surely chances for you to offer your own contributions to the society. Doing this will make you feel better about yourself while also helping others and meeting like-minded people along the way.

Definitely take advantage of the internet but make your own rules. Stick to dating sites which specifically cater to men and women over 40. Compose your online dating profile with care - be unique and sell yourself. Don't write the same thing that everyone else does. And most importantly, look for women with common interests and shared values, not just those who seem "ready to roll" on the first date.

And the last piece of dating advice for men over 40, remember that you can find the woman of your dreams no matter what your age!

What Kind Of Man Turns Women Off In Nightclubs

When doing research for a book I wrote on how to pick up single sexy women in bars and nightclubs, I interviewed over 200 single women in nightclubs. One of the questions was, "What kind of man turns you off in a nightclub?" Here are some of their answers (most of the women had the same answers):
Robin - "One who comes right up in your face with bad breath. A man with bad body odor and wrinkled clothes. Takes things for granted and sits down without asking. One who comes on too strong."
Kerry - "One who thinks he's a good dancer, but steps all over your feet."
Erika - "The overly flashy type man. A man who treats me like a piece of meat."
Valerie - "A man that acts dumb. He shows off in front of everybody. He thinks he's real cute. Cares more about himself than he does about you. Also, he comes right up to you with bad breath."
Paula - "A show off, a man that thinks he's really special, a guy dressed tacky, or a bum, a fast mover."
Susan - "A drunk, stubborn man. Some men insist that you dance with them even if you say no. That turns me off."
Gail - "A forward, especially drunk, insistent man."
Debbie - "A fat, drunk man. A man who thinks he's macho."
 Free Dating Tips on How to Meet, Attract, and Seduce Women
Erin - "A foul-mouth man."
Sandra - "Too feminine and doesn't dress masculine. A fat man. A man who is not a good listener."
Karen - "If he's too suggestive, dresses too fancy (don't like suits), and too
drunk."
Kim - "A guy that's too pushy and brags too much on himself."
Nicole - "A guy that's too forward and obnoxious."
Barbara - "Gay and ugly men."
Nancy - "A drunk and untidy man."
Natalie - "A cocky snob (stuck up)."
Gayle - "Short and fat. Real conceited guys who think they are God's gift to women."
Peggy - "A man I don't even know that fondles me and paws at my body. A real drunk guy that stumbles up to me and trys to hustle me or dance with me. Obese men." Teresa - "The type that lie and sit around and brag about themselves. They think
they are hot stuff."
In conclusion, use these interviews as a guideline on how to conduct yourself accordingly at the nightclubs. You're not going to score with very many sexy single women if you do things to turn them off. These interviews can be summed up as follows:
1. Single women like to be approached in a respectable manner. They usually don't like the aggressive approach and don't like to be treated like a piece of meat.
2. Single women like well-groomed, well-dressed men, with a pleasing personality. 3. Single women dislike conceited, drunk, forward, and obese men.

Dating Or Just Hanging Out

The dating phase of a relationship is a very crucial aspect of relationship building. It is a time intended for learning, for sharing thoughts, hopes, dreams, fears and for bonding. If we skip this crucial phase, what then, are we bringing upon ourselves?

My 13-year-old son pretty much summed up what passes for the progression of relationships today like this:

Two people hang out together for a while with a bunch of other people, he said. Then, they decide they wanna get married, have some kids, decide they don't like each other and what they've gotten themselves into, get a divorce, and have to pay child support.

His description, sadly, is almost dead-on. Is this truly what we aspire to? What is happening here? Are we truly "skipping" the dating phase completely, leaping from introduction to engagement without ever really taking the time to get to know each other? Without any true bonding or relationship building at all? Have we, as a society, completely eliminated the true date and opted for merely hanging out instead?

Today, we hear couples say they are going on a date, and then usually the couple attends some group function or outing in a public place where lots of their friends are gathered. They all just "hang out" together, at the mall or at the movies, making what was supposed to be a time of sharing and getting to know one another more of a group social event than anything.

Perhaps something vital is being left out of most relationships today, and that something is the dating phase.

It wasn't always this way. Once there was a "pecking order" for all things relationship-py, and it went something like this: There was an introduction, which progressed to occasional meetings at adult-chaperoned events, and then came the dating phase.

The purpose of dating, then, could be described as a phase of time in two people's lives spent together as a couple in order to get to know one another better as individual people, on a one-on-one basis.

Time spent together out of the shadow of their peers, during which they could be themselves their real, true selves and decide if who and what each of them were as individuals would be better, stronger, more beautiful and capable merged into one entity, which it would be, if they came together as a couple.

If and only if this dating phase of a relationship went well (meaning the couple involved decided, based on time spent together getting to know each other on a deeper, more personal level, that the ingredients necessary for a long-term, forever kind of relationship were present between them), there was usually an engagement announced, and finally, a marriage.

Consider this the next time you're asked to go on a date. Are you truly dating? Or are you just hanging out? You'll know.

Guide To Dating Older Women

Dating Older Women

For a long time, older men have been able to capture the hearts of younger women. This may have been partly evolutionary. Younger women could still bear healthy children while older men had the financial wherewithal to support them.

But, in our affluent society where smaller families are the norm, some younger men have begun dating older women.

Older women who seek younger men out to date are known as cougars. There are some famous Hollywood couples who fit the younger man dating older women pattern. For instance, Demi Moores love is Ashton Kutcher. And, Susan Sarandon has been married to Tim Robinson for years.

One reason that many older women prefer younger men is that women peak sexually in their late 30s and into their early 50s. Men, on the other hand, peak in their late teens and early twenties. So, a sexually motivated woman may look to date a younger man whose libido more closely matches her own.

Additionally, younger men are more likely to understand the social needs of an older woman. While older men may be stuck looking at women in more traditional roles, younger men are more open to see a womans career strengths and earning power as a plus.

But younger men also have their reasons for dating older women. He gets the excitement of the sexual experience and the sexual self confidence of a woman who knows her way around the bedroom. Such a man will be able to relax knowing he doesnt have to take the lead all of the time.

He may also get the financial security out of dating older women that younger women get out of dating older men. He can take the time to pursue graduate school, develop his talents as a concert pianist or start his own business secure in the fact that he doesnt have to be the breadwinner.

This is not to say that the younger man dating an older woman is not without its downsides. Women worry that as they age, they will become less attractive to a younger man.

Another potential sticking point is that after a certain age, a woman can no longer bear children. While she may have children of her own from a previous relationship or not want to have children, a younger man may come to feel that he wants to father children. This is not possible when he is with an older woman whose biological clock has run out.

Older men have long faced the masalah of dating women their childrens ages. But now women are facing the same situation. How do grown children feel when mom brings home a young stud their age? It may not be something they have ever considered possible.

While it certainly is still not common for a younger man to be dating older women, it is no longer out of the realm of common occurrence. If you are interested in dating older women, there are web sites which feature personals for cougars.

Dating Traps And The Solutions To Them

Copyright 2006 David Steele

In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist most of my practice has been working with couples, because after experiencing divorce growing up as a child, and again after a ten year first marriage, I decided that my mission is to help people have successful marriages and families, and I thought the best way to do that would be as a marriage counselor. However, what I discovered over the years is that people generally make appointments with me when it's almost too late; they're on the verge of divorce or it might be a last resort, after there's been a lot of irreversible damage done.

How relationships work and how to have a successful Life Partnership have always been fascinating mysteries to me. One thing's for certain; times have changed and what used to work doesn't work anymore. The biggest change in the past 30 years impacting relationships that I can see is that we have developed a need to be "happy". This is a dramatic shift from our parents and grandparents who were quite satisfied surviving and achieving some measure of comfort and security. The need for happiness sounds very simple and innocent, but it's the primary reason for failed relationships today, and the high divorce rate, single parent families, mental and physical health problems, juvenile delinquency, welfare, and so on.

While we seek to be happy in relationships, we don't seem to know how. As a result I have seen many people make relationship choices and fall into traps that prevented them from getting what they want in their life, resulting in unhappiness and relationship failure. A trap is basically an unsolvable duduk kasus that results in unhappiness in a relationship. Getting out of the trap often means leaving the relationship.

When you're single you can do a lot more than you realize to avoid these traps and prepare for a successful and lasting relationship, as you'll see in this article.

1. Marketing Trap

Believing you need to make yourself more appealing to attract a partner and "selling" yourself with attractive packaging and presentation. High risk of disappointment and relationship failure as people discover that the excitement and promise of the "sizzle" conflicts with the reality of the "steak".

Solution: Authenticity. You will attract compatible people when you show them who you really are. At the risk of mixing metaphors, "Birds of a feather flock together", so don't try to look like a prize-winning chicken when you are your own breed of duck!

2. Scarcity Trap

Believing there is a limited supply of possible partners, so you have to take what you can get or be alone. Results in relationship failure when you settle for less and compromise your Requirements. A self-fulfilling prophecy when you get less because you expect less.

Solution: Define your first choice of what you really want and persevere. Trust that if you apply yourself you can get what you really want in your life. You must be able to say "No" to what you DON'T want, to be available to say "Yes" to what you DO want. You have the power to choose who, what , where, when, and how, and can get what you really want if you make effective choices aligned with your Vision and Requirements.

3. Compatibility Trap

Assuming that if you have fun together and get along well, you are compatible and a committed relationship will work. Results in relationship failure when discovering the vast difference between a fun-focused, recreational " dating" relationship, and a serious long-term committed relationship. Being so different, the process and criteria for choosing a recreational relationship needs to be very different from choosing a Life Partner.

Solution: When you are ready for a Life Partnership, define your Requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Do not try to convert a recreational relationshipinto a committed one, unless 100% of your Requirements are met.

4. Fairytale Trap

Passively expecting your ideal partner to magically appear and live happily ever after without effort on your part. Believing that finding your soul mate will just "happen". Results in disappointment when the frogs that happen to jump into your life don't become princes.

Solution: Take personal responsibility for your relationship choices and outcomes. Have effective scouting, sorting, and screening strategies. Initiate contact and be the "Chooser", don't simply react to people that choose you.

5. Date-To-Mate Trap

Becoming an "instant couple" as if giving each person you date an extended test drive. Believing that if you develop an exclusive relationship with someone you are dating, a successful committed relationship will eventually happen. Other terms for this are "Serial Monogamy" and the "Mini-Marriage.. This approach is a costly use of time and emotional energy. The inertia in this trap is pressure to make the relationship work, attempt to solve unsolvable problems, and fit the round peg in the square hole because breaking up and being single again is an undesired outcome.

Solution: Date a variety of people and have fun without being exclusive. When you are ready for a committed relationship define your Requirements and use them as tools to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Make a careful relationship choice and consciously use a "pre-commitment" period to determine if this is the right relationship for you.

6. Attraction Trap

Making relationship choices based on feelings of attraction. Interpreting a strong attraction to someone as a sign that the relationship is a good choice and "meant to be". This approach results in relationship failure when unsolvable problems surface because you ignored the red flags while infatuated. Unconscious choices usually result in repeating unproductive past patterns.

Solution: Balance your attractions by defining your Requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. "Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of your happiness or misery.(H. Jackson Brown, Jr. from "Life's Little Instruction Book").

10 Tips - Dating Advice For Men

10 Tips Dating Advice For Men

Whether you're an experienced dater, just getting back into the single swing after the break-up of a long relationship, or somewhere in between, here is some dating advice for men that you should keep in mind.

  

1. Make a good impression. This starts with your personal hygiene. Get a hair cut if necessary and shave. You don't have to wear cologne (in fact some women don't like it) but you must be clean. Make sure you are wearing nice looking clothes that you feel comfortable in and that fit you well.

2. If you smoke, you want to seriously consider giving it up. If you can't, make all attempts to get rid of your smoker's breath and cough. Ironically enough, even women who smoke can't stand the smell of smoke on their man.

3. Listen more and talk less. Ask your date a lot of questions about herself and listen to the answers. Women love to chat and if you can remember things she's told you and bring them up later, you will impress her.

4. Try to keep up with current affairs that you can discuss in conversation - this is one of the best pieces of dating advice for men that is often overlooked.

5. Take some time to learn about manners and chivalry. Women want to be treated with respect. Hold the door open for your date. Don't use rude or vulgar language. It can also help to know how and what to eat in a fancy restaurant, and a little about fashion, jewelry and flowers.

6. Keep your sports lingo in check. Most guys love sports and that's fine. But it shouldn't be all you talk and think about, at least while you are with your date. Some women love sports too. But they don't tend to talk about it all the time as men can do. Many women interpret an obsession with sports talk as a total lack of thought, creativity or inspiration.

7. If you don't dance, you might want to consider learning how. Women love to dance and the benefit for you is that it puts you in close contact with each other. Dancing is considered romantic and sexy. Worse than being a terrible dancer is staying seated when your date wants to dance. You could even take lessons together.

8. Don't expect sex on the first date. Period.

9. Keep your career goals as one top priority. Most women want a man who has some ambition in life and even if they pretend to think your job isn't important, they do.

10. Taking your date for a drink every once in a while is fine but don't make it a habit to hang out at bars all the time.

These is just an introductory guide to the many aspects that are part of dating advice for men. Heed these and you will be off to a good start!

10 Dating Tips For Black Men

Dating can be tough but there are some things you can do to make it a little bit easier on both you and the woman you've asked on a date. These 10 dating tips for black men can help you next time you're on a date.

1. You have to remember that she is probably nervous too and may be unsure about what to do. Thinking of it this way can help set you at ease and make it more comfortable for you both.

2. Double-check your hygiene before you walk out the door. Make sure that you smell good, and that you have fresh breath. Wear a light, nice cologne. But don't overdo it on the scent.

3. This dating tip for men is something the guys often forget if they don't date very often. Check your fingernails. Be sure your hands look well groomed just like the rest of you because women tend to look at a guy's hands and judge him by how neat they are.

4. Another dating tip that can help a black man on a date, especially when it's your first date with a particular woman, is to check your shoes. Women tend to look at a man's hands and his feet for good grooming.

5. Do take charge a little bit on your date. It's all right to ask her what she wants to do or let her make the decisions, but don't appear too wishy-washy. If you have asked her on a date then this is your ballgame and you need to claim it and make sure you both have a good time.

6. Do offer to pay for the meal or whatever activity you're doing. Unless you agreed to go halves when you asked her on this date, then step up to the plate and pay for the date.

7. Plan ahead if cost could be an issue to make sure everything's easily affordable for you. There are nice restaurants that are more affordable than the fanciest ones in town. But avoid going super-cheap.

8. Some black men make the mistake when on a date of leaving all the conversational topics to the woman. Be prepared with something to talk about that is fairly neutral. As usual when meeting anyone new avoid topics like politics and religion. Stick to more neutral things like work, travel, movies, hobbies and topics of that nature.

9. Brush up on current events if you're not very knowledgeable about what's going on right now. This is always a good topic of conversation. The last big thing to be on the news is something most people can discuss at length pretty easily.

10. It's okay to admit that you're nervous when on a date. By letting her know you are a little bit nervous you're letting her know that you really like her and you want to make a good impression.

Remember these 10 dating tips for black men next time you're on a date and make it a success!

9 Regrets In Dating

We all have committed mistakes in our dating lives or our relationships. Some we have lived to regret. Through some research here are the most common regrets of dating people or people in a relationship.

1. Most people regret not settling down with their childhood sweetheart or 1st love at college. They always believe that there will be more fish out there so why settle down? There might be more fish out there but do they actually fit your taste and personality. Compared to that proven fish that you have already established with your childhood sweetheart or 1st college love. Some people who didnt marry their childhood sweetheart will only think that they have settled for 2nd best only. This will be unfair to the other party, because you will always be thinking about that 1st love.

2. Dating people for the very wrong reasons always result in disasters. There might be some that could pull it off but it could be rare. Some people date for reasons of that person being physically attractive, business reasons, business contracts, sex or even just out of sympathy. We instead should date people who we seem to like because of their great personality or that being a match for us. A friend of mine tried to date a Muslim because she was pretty attractive, eventually things didnt work out because of cultural differences. If you know that you are entering a dating situation where things will really not work out, dont waste your time on it. There could be others out there while youre wasting your time on the wrong person.

3. People always regret not taking the offer of the date when the offer was there. People will always ask the what if question. Just imagine all the girls who turned down Bill Gates now. Bottom line give the person a chance, it wont hurt to have a sip of coffee for only 30 minutes. You might even find out you might click.

4. In our current society most 20 something people will put career ahead of their love life. This is not a bad thing though. But once you hit your 30s you will seem to lose something within you. You will become less attractive because of aging signs. Our body clocks will eventually catch up on us. Also most good catches will be fewer. Try to balance out your career and social life. Having a love life doesnt mean you need to get married and sacrifice your career. It might even inspire you to work harder. Its just how you view the situation.

5. Never date a married person. Dating a married person always guarantees disaster. This relationship will always be about deceit, lies and cheating. The unmarried party will also be led to expect something that could or might never happen; which is being in a serious relationship with the married person. It might also bother your conscience that you are destroying the life of the married couple. This relationship or dating period will never ever work out and be fun. It will always be filled with doubt.

6. Stupid regrets here, people leave the person they love. Dont know why. If you love the person why leave him or her? Often reasons for a person leaving his or her partner are due to infidelity. If things do eventually go broke it might be too late to go back. I mean if you love the person why be unfaithful? It might be tempting but its only a test of your relationship. Bottom-line, be faithful.

7. People also regret not ending a really bad relationship earlier. There might have been a time during the bad relationship that there was someone better who wouldve wanted to be with you. But because you were in that bad relationship you passed out on that other wonderful person. So if you think youre just not in the right situation have the courage to end it.

8. Dont be jackass in your relationship. People often regret that they could have been nicer to their partner. It will always haunt you when you treat your partner badly. How could our relationship have ended if I was nicer? Try to be courteous, remembering special dates (no matter how cheesy they are), kind, compromising, getting something special, being spontaneous. Dont be too late to change, because you might regret it.

9. Dont be callous when dumping a person. It definitely hurts and eksekusi alam has a way of finding you.

 

8 Types Of Women To Avoid Dating

A recent survey revealed that fifty two percent of men date for intimacy. Men are looking for that someone to get romantically involved with and a potential mate for life.

There are women that a man should avoid dating. Here are signs to watch out for:

1. The overly feminist. This type of woman assumes and believes man is the cause of all the pains and suffering of a society. It is her strong belief that women are much more intelligent than men and are capable of doing things the correct way.

Men would not want to spend some time with these types of women, anything that a man will do will always be negative to them. They can never be pleased by a man.

2. The material girl. She is just after the money! These types of women are high maintenance. They not just expect, but often demand that a man should finance all her luxuries in life. To her, the man has the responsibility to pay for dinners, drinks, trips, jewelry, flowers etc. while she absolutely feels compulsion or guilt to reciprocate.

Simply put, she is a prostitute in disguise. She is a greedy person, having no perception of the feelings of others and her only concern is achieving and obtaining things that she wants. Never be fooled; some appear to be really nice at first, until they know that you would do anything for them. Then the asking for material things starts!

3. The hopeless romantic. These women live inside a perfect world of romance in novels, where love and relationships are perfect and her night and shining armor will always come and they will live happily ever after.

She has always been pampered by her and considered a "princess," thus have no idea that what the real life is. She will expect the man to take care of her constantly and that all her wishes be given; if not, she can turn out to be a screaming nag.

4. The angry girl. Similar to the feminist, she actually hates men. They often look down on men accounting a long list of all the injustice and transgressions of every guy that they shared a relationship with. To her, all men are "creeps", "pigs." and jerks. These women have boiling rage at men that can, at any given moment explode.

5. The insecure Miss. They will seem to be very pleasant, loving and accommodating at first, treating men very well. Later, when all her innermost insecurities go up the surface, she can be annoyingly calling the man she is dating at least ten times a day, asking where are you, or that she just missed your voice.

This woman demands frequent and persistent reassurance that you love her and you find her attractive; because of this insecurity, she worries continuously about her hair, make up, clothes etc. She can be clingy, needing constant attention and insistently torments you with her thoughts that you will leave her soon if you find someone better.

6. The abstract or elusive type. She is romantic but with a mysteriously dark side. She has been hurt in past relationships and has not gone over it. These bad experiences drive her to subconsciously stay way from or damage her new relationship.

She will be very frustrating to deal with, as at first, she will show a lot of interest with the man, however runs away very quickly; she will repeat this cycle again and again. She will date and flirt with the man, but will insist that they both remain as friends.

7. The desperate Miss. She is desperate to get married. She does not even choose to know the man; she just wants to trap him and bring him to the nearest altar!

8. The controlling type. She can be very nasty in a very subtle way, but when given the opportunity, will direct each phase of a mans life. She will always have a say as to what the man wears, where must the man go, who should the man talk to, who can a man have as friends, what a man can and can not eat; as in everything! The man can not insist on his own rights or else, there will be no sex, a lot of crying, screaming, pouting and everything just so the man will give in.

To all men, careful!

3 Situations You Have To Lie To Your Woman

It's no surprise that both genders rely on lying to some extent. They just do it differently and sometimes for different reasons.

All humans, especially women say they want their partner to be honest. Is this the truth? Can you keep a relationship up and running if you are telling the truth all the time?

Imagine that you just have brought your girlfriend at your home, to spend the night together for the first time. You have made a great effort to arrange and clean your home and especially the bedroom. You are proud about this and ask your partner what she believes about your home.

She responds "It is a little old fashioned... and something smells bad in here". Ups! Ok.

You two pass through this awkward moment, then you start kissing each other, but you make a joke about... the size of your penis, and instead to hear the most used reply: "hey, relax, size really doesn't matter", she tells you that her ex was quite huge.

Ups... Not again. :)

If she were to say just two little lies everything could be great, but now...

The truth is, telling a few lies can be one of the best ways to keep your relationship healthy.

So if you want to keep her happy and keep getting laid, you're going to have to learn how to lie - and lie convincingly. The trick is figuring out what she wants to hear.

1. Never mention your sexual past... especially if it was a good one. If your girlfriend asks you what it was like or how good your ex was, you can tell a lie if you have to. Say it wasn't all that good. Don't ever mention her. Even if what you're saying is uncomplimentary, it will still have a negative effect. You bringing her up hints that she's still on your mind.

2. When it comes about how she looks, if you picked her to be your partner, you have to make her feel that she is a WOMAN. Every woman has something beautiful, something sexy and attractive, and if you make her know that you find her attractive she will be more confident, wilder and more passionate. But when she asks you about something you don't really like at her look, never but never tell her your true opinion. Just say that it is OK and pass over the moment. If you are telling her that you don't like something at her, she will feel frustrated and become more inhibited.

3. Everybody knows that women have more sensibility than men. So pay attention to her sensibility and don't make bad jokes about other people (especially her family) or let her know when you are up to take the cat and throw it out through the window. She will find you insensitive and you will lose points. Use your common sense and try not to hurt your womans feelings even if you have to say a little lie from time to time.

Overall, lying is a bad thing to do. But when it comes to women, you really have no choice.

The little white lies don't hurt anyone and are only meant as reassurance every now and then

It's therefore okay to tell a person what they want to hear.

How To Improve Your Inner Game To Succeed With Women

Have you ever had great success in one venue, maybe house parties, but were unable to succeed with women you met other places, like perhaps Clubs?

Often it is easier for you to be cool and social in one venue than another. This is your `comfort zone`. You know what to say, how to say it, and who to say it too. But outside of that zone, you are toast! This is because we often use certain external techniques and social skills that do not really apply to every venue we might find ourselves in. When you have deep set beliefs that you are a high status male, and that no matter where you are, that you are among the elite males, then all these anxieties and problems fall away.

How? Because your strength and resolves makes other people change THEIR mode of behavior to suit yours. If Bill Clinton walked into a raging rock concert or hip hop concert, this one man, would have everyone in a completely different frame of mind, all begging to appease HIS way of interaction. The people bend to YOU.

Inner Game Positively Influences Your Body Language

  

* Fifty-five percent of the communications signals we send results from how others see us

* Thirty-eight percent flows from the way they hear us

* Seven percent comes from our words

Source: http://www.barkscomm.com/fa_nonverbal.asp

Having solid Inner Game allows your body language to accurately communicate. This is called `congruence`, when your words are matched by your attitude and body language. If you say Super Man things to a woman, but feel like Clark Kent inside, she WILL know, and you will get nowhere with her.

Inner Game Improves Every Aspect Of Your Life, Making You More Attractive

I saved the best for last. Inner Game development need not be limited to confidence and belief setting with women. It can apply to everyone, and life in general. You can rethink previous ideas, like you'll never be able to get into a good college, or you'll never make a good XYZ and then your subconscious will begin helping you to change so that these things can happen. What is best is that being successful in life ( and I don't mean being rich ) will make you doubly attractive to women, and that will raise your confidence even more. It is cyclical.

Conclusion

Not learning proper Inner Game techniques can lead to ALOT of frustration AND embarrassment too using seduction tactics that seem incongruent. Without Inner Game, no amount of "negging", or "cocky funny" will allow you to have lasting success with women.

3 Categories Women Put You In Before You Meet

When approaching women, even before you have said a word or done anything she has already unconsciously put you into one of three categories:

I Like Him

I Don't Like Him

Undecided

Now that you are aware of the three different categories lets go over each ones strengths and weaknesses for you.

Category #1: I like Him: If you happen to look or remind her of someone that she liked, dress in a certain type of way that she finds attractive or anything else that she happens to connect with. Congrats you have a heads up on everyone and when it comes to taking it to the next level its all On You. This is a great thing and if you fall in the Average Guy category expect this to happen with around 10 percent of the women that you meet who are available.

Category #2: I Don't Like Him: You ever meet someone and for no apparent or real good reason you don't like them?

Guess what women are the same way and for good measure most women throw unconfident men and a whole slew of petty reasons in there as well. If you fall in this category and at least 10 percent of the time you will if your just an average guy, unless you have some unknown outside factor to enhance you (hot ex still after you, famous, rich, etc.); there is nothing you can say or do that is going to get this woman to change her mind and be attracted to you.

Category #3: Undecided: The majority of the times about 80 percent is you are an average guy you are going to fall in this Category which if you have done your studying and reading on seduction and how to attract women is a perfect place to be. Because as long as you are in the Undecided category you can work on creating the desire and attraction in a woman that you want. This is very good news for you my friend.

Of course the time is now for you to get your life in order so that when you walk up to a woman that you find to be a potential partner and she is thinking to herself maybe or maybe not over the course of a cup of coffee or tea you can turn that maybe into a yeas and increase your success with women tremendously.