After Relationships Help - Do And Dont Do

If you're reading this article, I guess you've just got out of a relationship. It doesn't matter if it was a mutual decision, your decision or if the decision was made for you, it's still a very difficult thing to go through. Most of us would like to end the suffering and pain (and maybe guilt) as soon as possible but many people turn to the wrong things and the wrong people to help them get over a breakup. Avoid making the mistakes that will only add to your pain in the long run, use these after relationships help tips so you can move on quickly and with your dignity.


When it comes to handling a breakup there are two distinct lists you need to follow: a list of what to do and a list of what not to do. If you follow both lists you can move on a lot easier. Here are the dos and don'ts:

DO:

Enjoy yourself. Have fun (as much as possible at least). Even though it may seem impossible if you surround yourself with a good group of friends you can actually have a little fun during this time, you just have to let yourself. Allow yourself to be distracted and don't hang on to your pain, try to learn to let it go or at least learn to put it (and leave it) in the back of your mind. Spending time with your pals doing fun things can help you accomplish that goal.

Go for that makeover you've been thinking about. Now is a great time to focus on you in a positive way. It may be time to get n shape, move, learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, get some new clothes, or just get a new hairstyle. It doesn't have to be big it just needs to be something that will make you feel more positive about yourself and the future and give you a reason to smile.

Only allow yourself to think about your relationship from the standpoint of what you can learn from your mistakes. This is not the time to wallow and obsess over every conversation and all the endless what ifs. This is the time to analyze what went wrong and what you can do in your next relationship to make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes. This may mean that you redefine the type of person you become involved with in the first place.


DON'T:

Don't try to talk your ex into getting back with you. Even if there is a chance that the two of you can reconcile some day, you need to give things time so you can be sure you are getting back together for the right reasons and not just because you're afraid of being lonely. Give it time.

Don't rewind every conversation and every comment to death. As I said above, any time you think of your relationship it should be from the standpoint of what can I do better next time and not what should I have done differently this time.

Don't hook up with everyone you find. That is not fair to you or the new person in your life. They don't deserve to feel like they are second string just because you are hurting. Just keep your social interactions restricted to family and friends and put the romance on hold for a while.

In all aspects of life we can be challenged to find the right path and to do the right things. This is very true when it comes to finding constructive things to do to help you move on after relationships end. By following the simple common sense advice above you will greatly improve your chances of moving on more quickly, with less pain, and with less baggage. Don't make things harder than they already are, use your head while your heart is mending.

Best Ways To Get Your Wife Back - Dos And Dont's

Having your marriage break apart is an extremely difficult and painful thing to go through. When kids are involved it's just that much harder since you have to worry about them as well as try to deal with your own emotions. But there is hope. You can find the best ways to get your wife back and use the techniques you learn to save your marriage.

There is a lot of information available online. As you know not all of it is accurate. You don't want to waste time following bad advice. You want to make sure the advice you get has a real chance of working.

I have included a list of some things you should do to save your marriage and some things you should avoid at all costs. Follow this list and you'll be well on your way to saving your marriage.

DON'T

1) Don't whine, get angry, threaten, or seem needy. No one likes to be pushed around and manipulated and that's what you'd be doing if you do any of the above things. If your wife feels like you are trying to force her into something she will react like most people would when being pushed: she's going to push back and/or run away.

2) Don't obsess about everything, constantly replaying conversations over in your head, driving yourself crazy wondering what she's doing (and who she's doing it with).

DO

1) Do talk. I mean talk, not lecture. That is a big mistake so many men make, they try to talk over their wife. They don't really listen to what she is trying to explain. If you want to save your marriage and get your wife back you have to try very hard to put yourself in her shoes, to see things from her perspective.

Remember, perspective isn't right or wrong it's just how you see things. You are both entitled to your view of the situation. If you respect each other's opinions and feelings and are willing to listen, you might just find that you aren't as far apart as you think.

2) Try to remind your wife of what it was that attracted her to you in the first place. Be fun and try hard to live your life. No one wants to be around a boring, depressed person. Wallowing in your pain isn't the way to win her back.

Going out with your friends and trying to live your life to the fullest, even while you are working on getting your wife back, will not only make the situation easier for you it can also help her to see you in a new light. She can see you as the man she fell in love with and maybe some of those old feelings will re-ignite.

One word of caution though: do not hookup! If you truly want your wife back you don't want to cheat on her during this period. It might seem ok since you're not together but if she finds out, and she will, she will never be able to go back with you.

Think about it, how would you feel if the situation was reversed and your wife hooked up with someone so soon after your split. Wouldn't it hurt you deeply to think she could forget you and be with someone else so soon? That's how she would feel too. Plus, it's not fair to the other woman. You would essentially be using her to ease your own pain.

Relationships can be difficult, but that doesn't mean that it's not worth saving. If you follow the best ways to get your wife back listed above you will have a real shot at repairing, and maybe even improving, your relationship.